How to love God’s church after you’ve been hurt.
Church hurt is real and painful.
Many have experienced this or may be experiencing it right now. This type of hurt for many has caused mistrust, fights, a pulling away from church and the most common one… separation from God. Before we can tackle how to love the church again we have to look within.
Some of us find it easier to blame God and walk away from him, because then we don’t have to confront the issue. We don’t have to confront ourselves and see if we were a part of the problem that led to the hurt or if we handled it in a godly way.
Sometimes all it takes is to go to the person but confrontation is something that a lot of us aren’t comfortable with. So what do we do? We walk away. God never promised that we won’t encounter hurt, he never promised that this walk would be easy. He was the Son of God and he was persecuted, betrayed and crucified. So what do you think about us?
Yes it hurts, yes they betrayed you, yes they used you, yes they manipulated you, yes they cast you aside but who was your commitment to? Them or God? In order to love Gods church again we can’t be afraid to do a self-examination. There are lessons to be learnt in everything that we experience whether it be good or bad.
Romans 8:35-39 (KJV)
35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?
36 As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.
37 Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.
38 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,
39 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Forgiveness is key to healing and moving forward.
I had to come to the knowledge that the church is made up of imperfect, flawed people. We all have the capacity to hurt others. Understand that when we are dealing with imperfect people, we will encounter imperfect situations. This doesn’t mean that what was done was right but it helps to put things in perspective so that the healing process can begin. I had to ask myself if I wanted to live another year in the hurt. The Holy Spirit then began to show me my imperfections. He asked me if at any time had I hurt people by my words and actions intentionally or unintentionally? I had to be honest and say yes.
The lesson here was that I was not perfect and that revelation made me learn to forgive. We serve a perfect God who says forgive or I won’t forgive you. Yup it’s a hard pill to swallow but that’s the word. The forgiveness was to set me free and to allow the healing process to begin so that I could grow and become who he had called me to be.
Matthew 6:14-15 (NIV)
14 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
The hurt drives many to fall out of love with the church and say I’m done! Again I ask who did you make a commitment to? Who are you in covenant with? Our commitment is to God and we are to not forsake assembling with the saints. Iron sharpens iron, we need each other. Moving forward will look different for everyone, for you it may mean find a new church, for another it may mean stay and make amends. The enemy of our souls wants us to hold onto that hurt. He wants us to throw our hands up and leave the church, he wants us to walk away from God. The enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy. If he can use that hurt to steal you away from God then he has the opening to destroy and kill you.
Love is powerful…
We have to understand God’s love for us and then allow that knowledge to reignite our love for Him and our purpose. This renewed awareness of love along with self-examination and forgiveness will rekindle our love for the church.
At the end of the day you matter and in spite of everything there are gifts and talents inside of you that the Body needs. We have work to do, God is in need of us to be a light and we cannot allow the devil to win!
Sometimes we get hurt by specific people in the church but if we allow those people to make us bitter towards the body, satan claims a victory.
Natalie Snapp
Live free, love freely,